We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
