Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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