it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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