He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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