WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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