Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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