i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
