I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
