Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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