Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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