ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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