how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If its not for food we ain't going out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
