would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
