I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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