why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
