and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
