how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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