Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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