Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
