So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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