Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize