eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
