yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
