i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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