You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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