You made me cry and you don't even care
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
