HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
