My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
