I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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