Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
