I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
