Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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