It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
