I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
