Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
