i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
