im drinking this country out of the recession.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
