Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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