it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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