I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
