have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
