two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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