is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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