Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
