I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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