He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
