Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
