one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
