My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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