Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
