I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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