never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
