Need sex. Gaining weight.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
