Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize