well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
