When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
