Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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