I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
