Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
