Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
